I have been pregnant twice, and I was lucky to have two straightforward pregnancies. Although I did experience some prenatal symptoms such as nausea, indigestion, cramps, fatigue and back ache, I believe that these were eased by some of the choices I made. These are also things that often come up in conversation in my Pregnancy Yoga classes, so in this blog I want to share some of the things that help me in my pregnancies. These are my personal experiences and by no means a prescriptive list of what you should do! Listen to your own body, situation and needs. 1.Keeping active Before my first pregnancy I was fairly active, I went to fitness classes, “body balance” and swimming, and I kept doing so through my pregnancy. I took up Pregnancy Yoga, and carried on with yoga afterwards as well. There are many benefits to yoga during pregnancy, which you can read in another blog here . I kept up gentle exercise in swimming (be careful of breaststroke if you have pelvic pain) and walking is amazing. Even in my second pregnancy, when I had I had a two-year-old in lockdown I was kept active with her, doing around 7000 steps a day. By my second pregnancy I had started running too, but stopped when I was feeling sick. However it is safe to keep running and you can keep up with your previous exercise, as the NHS recommend keeping active during pregnancy ( read more here .) 2.Posture Being aware of my posture throughout the day I believe helped me to ease discomforts such as back pain and indigestion. Even now as a yoga teacher, I don’t have the best posture, but pregnancy helped to remind me to sit and stand more evenly! Standing with my weight on both feet, and flattening my lower back slightly helped my lower back (your pelvis may be differently aligned so do check with a physio or yoga teacher). Sitting upright instead of slumping in a sofa (use cushions, or sit leaning against the sofa – see photo), and not crossing my legs would give baby space to move into an optimal position. These were also better for my hips and knees and digestion! These are things I can encourage and remind in a yoga class, but taking it into your daily life makes a big difference, well it did for me. 3.Pregnancy pillow It is recommended to sleep on your side during pregnancy, to reduce the risk of stillbirth ( read more from Tommy’s here ). But it is not always comfortable. It’s usually suggested to have a pillow between your knees and ankles which can help it feel more comfortable. You don’t have to get a special “pregnancy pillow” but I did and I loved it so much I still use it 7 years later! Also an extra thin cushion or blanket under my left hip because I had some hip pain. 4.Connecting with other people In my first pregnancy, I didn't really know anyone else who was pregnant. When I started attending pregnancy yoga I met other people in the same situation as me, and it was great to know others were going through the same things, learning along with me. We kept in touch, and in the pregnancy and postnatally was such a lifeline to be able to message and help each other. Even in my second pregnancy, when I did then have some friends with babies, it was still lovely to be in group of pregnant people at yoga classes. 5.Nutrition We know that a healthy balanced diet is key to our health, so this applies prenatally as well. Personally I needed to eat little and often, especially into the third trimester, but you don't need to eat for two! If you do get hungrier (and you do need more calories in the third trimester) stick to nutrient dense and nutritious snacks and small meals. As for cravings, I feel this is somewhat our body telling us what we need. In my first I really wanted juicy fruits, I was due in September, so I believe that was keeping me hydrated over the summer. If you have non food cravings of course don't eat these! NHS recommendations can be found here , and if you have concerns then see a nutritionist. 6.Hypnobirthing Hypnobirthing helped me so much, because I was really scared of giving birth. I was enjoying my pregnancy, but didn’t know how I could cope with birth. There is more about this wonderful method on my website, but suffice to say I actually looked forward to birth. I went on to have two incredible birth experiences and ultimately changed my life as here I am now teaching it. 7.Seeking help when you need it I advocate listening to your body and following your instincts. However that doesn't mean you have to do everything alone. So for example, when I was concerned about reduced movements we called up medicom and spoke to the midwife. She helped me and reassured me. Asking for help and support is okay. Second time around I needed help with looking after my daughter. I was growing another human being and my body was more tired, that is normal. 8.Accepting the changes and differences A lot of us are used to very much being in control and used to how we look and feel. Of course pregnancy changes things. For some people, that's very welcome, they enjoy it and embrace it but for some people, this can be really challenging. Knowing that it is normal for your body to be changing helped me. It was frustrating when I couldn’t do things I could usually, walking slower, towards the end breathing is harder. But learning about things such as you have less lung capacity, helped me to give myself a bit of kindness. So cut yourself some slack. Allow yourself to rest a little bit more, and know that every day is one day closer to meeting your baby! I hope sharing my experience helps you. This is not a complete list - I am very grateful to the support of my husband, my family and the NHS too, and I am sure there are other things that helped me to have some positive experiences. As I said at the start, do take your own lifestyle and needs into account first.
Family Yoga is when children and adults practise yoga together. It is an opportunity to spend time together in a meaningful, fun and connected way. You may know that yoga has physical and mental benefits, but when we get kids and grown ups doing it together we promote everyone’s wellbeing. Family Yoga might be doing yoga at home together, I offer sessions based around a theme which is often seasonal, involving imagination, games, partner work and mindfulness, which is what I will talk about here. Bonding and connection The word yoga means ‘to yoke’ or ‘to bind’, and it is talked about how it means to connect the body and the mind. We could also think about connecting with each other. Family Yoga is quality time together, without any special equipment needed, without screens. It is a great way to develop the bond between family members and have fun together. Adults and children are asked to work together on poses or in games, so teamwork and collaboration is needed. Also a great way to get siblings cooperating! In a group class we might meet other families with a similar ethos and build our own community. Improve physical health Most of us need to get more active! The NHS recommends 3 hours of daily physical activity for under 5s , and 60 minutes of moderate activity for older children, 150 minutes per week for adults . We all need to move for our bodies to work effectively, and particularly children need regular movement to help their brains to focus and learn. There are also many benefits to our physical body systems of yoga, including for the lymphatic system, which boosts the immune system so we can fight off illnesses. In fact, yoga is good for all the body systems of children and adults! Moving also helps with better sleep, which also helps our mood and overall wellbeing. Improve mental health We know that yoga in general can reduce stress, anxiety and improve our mental health. This means through Family Yoga, both adults and children are benefitting. We live in a busy world and perhaps both adults and children need a way to “de-stress” and learn tools to self-regulate their nervous system. Mindful movement, breathwork, relaxation, all of these can help us. Whether these are ways to calm ourselves, or ways to boost our energy, we can learn to tune into our bodies and manage our own emotions. With adults also present they can help by modelling this to children, and continuing this at home after a session. We also laugh and play a lot in Family Yoga, exploring poses, seeing what works, what looks silly. Laughter is so important, to release the pent up energy and anxieties, and it also boosts endorphins which is great for the body. Self confidence Yoga can promote a sense of self confidence, as it is non-competitive compared to many other forms of movement. There can be a real sense of achievement when children can do something new, perhaps that they have struggled with, or perhaps something that their parent cannot do! This is great for their mental health to feel seen. Another aspect is that yoga is accessible to everyone, and that every BODY is welcome and amazing. We celebrate what we CAN do and may use affirmations that the whole family can take on board. It’s a change to be creative and use our brains in different ways. I love when people come up with something new in class! A break from screens Lets come back to that yoga is a break from ‘screen time’. There are many positives to technology, but it is important to have balance, and sometimes children spend to many hours on phones, tablets and in front of the TV. (There is a study which considered the effects of screen time here. ) There are lots of great yoga videos online, but nothing beats doing it in front of your mum, dad, granny or sister, a real person to give you feedback and to interact with. What I love about Family Yoga is that we are sharing the benefits. Both adults and children gain from the yoga session, and can take this into the rest of their lives. Plus if one person forgets the games and tools they learn someone else might remind them. It is a team effort, just like life. We are all connected and with that connection comes greater happiness and wellbeing for the whole household. Amber runs Family Yoga sessions in Norwich, Norfolk.
“As the darker evenings arrive I find I begin to become a little anxious and just want to curl up at home. Yoga brings a positive calm feeling to those evenings for me. My yoga practice helps me embrace the changing seasons not fear them.” C - Yoga student Autumn means shifting into the darker half of the year, where the nights are longer and colder, wetter and windier weather arrives. Many of us find this challenging, particularly once the clocks change in the UK. We can end up staying in at home, less active physically but the mind is still busy. Here I want to give you some tips on how to embrace this season using the practises from yoga. The ancient practise offers much for our modern lives, ways to keep our bodies moving and to calm our minds. Embracing the season Yoga encourages us to practise acceptance – of the changing season and of ourselves. It is typically British to moan about the weather, but we know we cannot change it! So unless we migrate to a warmer climate, we may as well embrace it. Noticing the wonderful things there are about the season, or practising gratitude helps with the feeing of contentment or “Santosha”. Noticing the bounty that autumn brings – from acorns, ripe fruit and root vegetables to enjoying cosy evenings and the warmth of a fire. I love watching how the leaves on different trees change day by day, and all the striking colours. Over the last few years I have found that simply noticing how my mood, energy and posture shifts in the autumn and winter helps me to be kinder to myself. On a rainy day I will get some work done, and when there is sunshine I’ll get outside for some movement and vitamin D. Plus, after the busy outward time of summer it can be good to reconnect to ourselves with a mindful practise such as yoga. Release and let go The season of Autumn is a transition from Summer to Winter. The natural world is preparing for the season of rest, by conserving energy as we can see quite dramatically in the deciduous trees. The leaves of these trees are used for collecting sunlight, so when the wheel of the year turns and there is less light, they literally let go of the leaves. It is a gradual and beautiful process, and one of the joys of autumn. We observe this preparation in animals too, gathering food stores for the colder winter months. As humans, in the past we would have done the same. And whilst we have our modern lives with artificial lights and supermarkets, we might still find our energy and motivation lessen. If after summer you feel “burnt out”, allow yourself to free up space for what really matters to you. Take inspiration from this “letting go”. You could do this now, consider one thing that you could let go of. Maybe a task, an expectation, a thought about yourself. Like with the trees, let this be a gradual process and give yourself time to adjust. If this feels difficult, start with the breath. Try a long slow exhale, thinking of how we release the carbon dioxide we don’t need. This longer exhale can bring us into the parasympathetic nervous system aka “rest and digest”, which means our body knows it is safe. There are some lovely meditation practises that can help us to let go too such as this one from Yoga Through the Year. Letting go also inspires my autumn asana (postures). Group yoga classes and my own practise focus more on releasing physical tensions. In the cold we might start to hold our posture differently, and not be moving as much, so getting relief in yoga can help. We can release the physical tensions from other activity, stress or anxiety. When we are in the “flight or fright” or sympathetic nervous system, our skeletal muscles are primed to go. This can soon build into tensions in the body causing discomfort or exhaustion. Through practising a range of yoga postures we can free up these knots so that we feel better in ourselves, and are able to rest the body more comfortably. Warmth, strength and motivation Whilst this letting go is important, our modern lives require us to keep going to work and school, so we might also focus on keeping up our motivation in the dark mornings and evenings. Much like the squirrel gathering nuts, we could use these months to build up a store of strength and healthy habits. Autumn means change, you can feel the wind blowing us about, so finding routine and stability is important. A regular yoga practise can help us, whether that is once a week in a class, morning meditation, or a relaxing yoga nidra. Yoga poses that might help with this involve the core muscles such as plank or boat. These poses also bring warmth to the body. This is another benefit of yoga for the cooler months, as we can do it indoors yet get quite physically active. Warming poses include squats that get big muscles working, or the abdominals. This stimulates our circulatory system to work more effectively, bringing fresh oxygen around the body. This also boosts the immune system and even the digestive system, which can slow down in the cold to conserve energy. The breath can help here too, a stimulating breath such as “shining skull” pranayama is warming, and cleansing our respiratory system (good for combatting winter illnesses!) Research shows it can help MS too. Immune System The weather turns colder and suddenly the colds and flu season is here. There are of course things we can do to reduce the spread of germs, but there is also a lot we can do to help our bodies when we do encounter them. Yoga is one amazing way to help boost our body’s ability to fight the bugs. Yoga helps to lower stress, which means our body systems work more effectively. It also helps the lymphatic system, which houses the immune system, and gets ride of toxins. It has no pump of its own so by practising yoga poses such as Sun Salutations, or inversions, we help the body to get rid of waste. Getting enough rest is important for our health too, and yoga helps with this. A typical class ends with Shavansana, relaxation (and given time I would always do a longer one!). We could that say Autumn is about bringing balance, with the night and day equal at the Autumn Equinox. It reminds me to balance the activity and rest in my life, something that I often need reminding! A practise such as yoga nidra or deep relaxation promotes that rest, especially good if we aren’t get enough sleep at night. “Yoga has taught me how to truly embrace the drawing down and inward energy of autumn and how to work with it instead of fighting against it as the weather gets colder.” M, yoga student I love to embrace the seasons in my weekly yoga classes in Norwich, and hold a mini retreat for mums, this year on October 12th. Please get in touch to join us. Yoga with Amber.
Oxytocin What is Oxytocin? It is known as the "bonding hormone", "love hormone" or “birth hormone”, and it does all these! It is a hormone that is produced in the Hypothalamus and helps with social bonding, love, birth and more. Oxytocin makes us feel good, that warm and fuzzy feeling, and helps to reduce pain and inflammation. The root of the word actually means "quick birth". It encourages labour to start, to progress and as the uterus contracts more it stimulates more oxytocin to be produced. Synthetic oxytocin is given to induce the start of labour and to speed things up if labour stalls. Therefore Oxytocin is something we want to encourage naturally in birthing. Why? - It is needed for the uterus to work effectively in labour, stimulating uterine contractions - It is a mood-enhancer, so we feel good - It reduces pain (think when you are feeling loved everything feels better?) - It accelerates healing and reduces inflammation. - It also promotes bonding with your baby once they are born. So it's a good idea to promote oxytocin during pregnancy and birth! How can we do this? Cuddles Kissing Massage Feeling nurtured Feeling safe Relaxation Sex Nipple stimulation Breathing techniques that stimulate the vagus nerve e.g. “bubble breathing” (see below) Yoga postures to encourage love and opening the heart When you are thinking about where you want to give birth, consider making this a place that you feel safe and supported. Whether that is at home, in a midwife unit or a hospital, you can make it your own. Have cosy low lighting when possible, home comforts like cushions and blankets, relaxing and familiar smells and music. The people around you are important too, do you feel safe and supported with your birth partner and anyone else who will be there? Hypnobirthing gives us lots of ways to promote oxytocin and facilitate a smooth birth and can help with more information about this and breathing techniques. Bubble breathing - The beautiful thing about the breath is we can use it to control our mind and body. When we control the breath and lengthen the out breath we tell our body that we are calm and that all is well. In Hypnobirthing and Pregnancy Yoga I teach "Bubble Breathing", where we visualise blowing bubbles into a beautiful blue sky. Not only is this a happy image, we breathe out through the mouth in a long, slow, exhale. This also stimulates the vagus nerve, which helps to produce oxytocin. This is the "love hormone" which boosts mood and reduces pain. All good! Postnatally - You now know about Oxytocin in relation to birth, but that’s not the end. Oxytocin floods the mothers body after birth, stimulating more uterine contractions which stops bleeding and supports recovery, but also encouraging milk production and connection with baby. This is one reason why that hour after birth is so precious for bonding. We can continue to encourage bonding, through eye contact, touch, massage, baby yoga, singing and talking with your baby. Baby and Postnatal Yoga classes involve all these. Oxytocin also helps with breastfeeding. It promotes milk production and the “let down” reflex, so all of the suggestions above about feeling relaxed, safe and nurtured also apply after your baby is born. Calming breaths and feeling looked after can really help with establishing breastfeeding. It is also promoted through connection with other adults, bonding between mums is just as important, which is also encouraged in Baby and Postnatal Yoga classes. Connecting with your partner, loved ones and friends all helps with this feelgood, love hormone oxytocin. Amber teaches Pregnancy Yoga, Postnatal Yoga and Hypnobirthing in Norwich. Get in touch on hello@yogawithamber.co.uk
Pelvic Girdle Pain, or PGP, is a common complaint during pregnancy, manifesting as any pain in and around the pelvic joints. It can be eased through prenatal yoga, through both the physical and mental benefits of this practise. Pregnancy yoga helps by establishing and practising good posture for everyday life, as well as specific asana and pranayama to help strengthen the muscles around the pelvis. What is PGP? The pelvic girdle refers to a combination of bones. It consists of the hipbones which are made up of the ischium, the ilium, and the pubis. The pelvis is vital to our body, as the muscles that balance and support the trunk, and move the legs, are attached to it. However, in pregnancy, the hormone relaxin and the growing baby cause increased instability of the joints in the pelvic girdle. In addition, as your baby grows, the abdominal muscles weaken and the Quadratus Lumborum become tighter to compensate. This leads to the pregnancy arch, where by the back over arches, and means that the hips, and pelvic girdle, can fall out of line. But do not despair! Once we are aware of this there is much we can do to prevent and to manage pelvic and back discomfort. Firstly, consider your posture in everyday life. When sitting or standing, think ‘tuck the tailbone’ under, which can activate the stabilising muscles of the core. Hereby we ensure that the quadratus lumborum (back muscles) are lengthened and the back is supported. It’s not just the lower body, the upper body contributes too! We keep the chest lifted and shoulders relaxed. This can be practised specifically in a yoga class, with sitting postures and walking to check the balance. It can also be regularly addressed within other asana such as a sitting cat. Experiment with different sitting heights and positions until you feel comfortable. Sitting on a birthing ball can also be helpful, as the pelvis is softly supported, and as long as it is at the correct height then the hips will rest in a neutral position. In all of these positions we can remind women to keep the pelvis in neutral, or ‘tuck the tailbone’, until it becomes second nature. The back may be flatter than would be normal. Certain asana can be beneficial to PGP. Some are listed below, but best practised with an experienced teaching in prenatal yoga. If PGP is a problem then it is important to listen to the body’s cues. If a particular posture is uncomfortable then we adjust it (another benefit of practising in a class with a teacher rather than from videos.) • The pawanmuktasana series warm up. It releases joints and aids circulation. In particular the knee circles and the knee lifts will help the hip joint and to strengthen the lower back. • Gentle twists such as an open kneeling twist or lying twist can be helpful to ease discomfort, but avoid dynamic twists. • Forward bends stretch the back. • Cat pose focusing on the pelvis and lower back, strengthening the muscles of the pelvis. • Warrior 2 can be useful to check the alignment of the pelvis. If without thinking we step out into a warrior and the knee is to one side of the ankle (rather than over the ankle as it should be), then there may be an issue. We need to be aware and check in when we use this posture. • Oyster shell leg lifts for the pelvic floor and glutes. Working on the pelvic floor muscles is a must in pregnancy for all women, but in terms of PGP, it can help further as the stabilising muscles are activated. As Dinsmore-Tuli (2018)* points out, the yogic approach to pelvic floor exercises involves breathe and postural awareness, as opposed to an isolated exercise. The pelvic floor consists of layers of muscle and ligament that stretch from the pubic bone to the coccyx and side to side. It is connected to the back and core, which in turn will support the pelvic girdle. Supportive pelvic floor muscles also support the pubic organs and close the urethra and anus. During pregnancy yoga classes, pelvic floor exercises can be practised, both as an isolated practice and whilst holding other asana. Women should find a comfortable position, either seated, kneeling, on all fours, or on a ball. On the exhale we gently lift or “zip up” the pelvic floor from back to front, and release on the inhale. To further support Pelvic Girdle Pain, the focus can be taken there during meditation or relaxation. Relaxing the body and mind supports us in so many ways, including allowing the body to restore and heal. Tension in part of the body can end up leading to pain, there or elsewhere, so if we can practise full body relaxation it can help with feeling more comfortable. With PGP and back pain in mind we can focus on relaxing the pelvic basin, and establishing the idea of taking time for self care. Another approach is to use mantras to remind yourself that this pain is temporary, since most PGP resolves itself within the weeks or months following childbirth. I hope this overview of yoga for pregnancy pelvic girdle pain gives you some help and relief. This is not an exhaustive list, as there are many ways that pregnancy yoga is helpful for Pelvic Girdle Pain, including posture, asana, pranayama and relaxation. Some approaches will work better for you than others, so give it a try, ideally with a trained pregnancy yoga teacher. Amber teaches Prenatal, Postnatal and Hatha Yoga in Norwich, see www.yogawithamber.co.uk or contact amber@zenmuma.co.uk for more information *Mothers Breath by Uma Dinsmore-Tuli
Pregnancy depression…what?? Surely you feel that pregnancy glow? You’re thrilled? Completely in love with the little one you’re growing inside? Sadly not! Hollywood, and social media would have us believe that from the moment we find out we are pregnant, we will be filled with utter joy and excitement, and will love every moment of carrying a life, even through the nausea, tiredness, and constant weeing. For some fortunate people, that is the reality of pregnancy. They glow, they embrace their changing body, and they wear pregnancy well. However, for others, this picture of love hearts and rainbows could not be further from the truth. In this blog I want to talk about “Ante-natal depression.” Yes, you did read that right…ANTE-natal depression, not POST-natal depression. The kind of depression that sets in during pregnancy, not after birth. The kind of depression that is not just low mood, or being a bit fed up because you feel a bit crap. This is hard core, debilitating, full mental shut down, depression which sets in when you become pregnant! Never heard of it? Neither had I until I experienced it…twice! I have no personal history of mental illness, have no family history of depression, and my babies were both very much wanted and planned. Yet there I was, living in a big black cloud with no idea what was going on. Hello antenatal depression! Studies differ in suggested prevalence rates, but generally the statistic of how many people are affected by it, falls somewhere between the 5 – 15%. Let’s call it 1 in 10 for ease of maths. That’s a lot of pregnant people walking around pretending everything’s fine, feeling too scared or ashamed to speak out and admit they are hating life. Antenatal depression receives disproportionately less attention in research and interventions compared to post-natal depression, and undoubtedly the statistic is higher than 5-15%, as many people will be powering through without reporting it. Hence why so many people have never heard of it! Feeling a bit low is kind of expected during pregnancy, but persistent very low mood, changes in appetite and sleep patterns, difficulty coping with life, extreme anxiety, emotional detachment, irritability, and feelings of hopelessness…are more than just normal pregnancy feelings. Depression symptoms can arise at any stage of pregnancy, and can go as quickly as they come. In both my pregnancies I experienced this up until about weeks 15 - 16. Diagnosis is complex due to many of the symptoms overlapping with typical pregnancy experiences, such as feeling tired and sleeping badly. However, feelings of not wanting to live anymore, or not wanting your baby (despite them being absolutely planned), indicate something more serious is going on and you should get professional help. There are various treatment options which can help with the symptoms of antenatal depression, but it’s important to try and identify what has triggered it, to choose what’s right for you. In my cases, I was having a “reaction” to the change in progesterone levels in my body during the first trimester. Some people apparently just don’t handle progesterone particularly well (it would explain why I was angry and numb on the mini-pill years ago!) I was one of the lucky ones, knowing it would pass once my hormone levels changed again as the pregnancy progressed. But it did mean that aside from medication, which I chose not to take, there weren’t really any other treatment options available, aside from holistic approaches. Tapping anyone? (Google it, it was fab!) While not always preventable, early intervention and awareness of risk factors can mitigate the impact antenatal depression has, emphasizing the importance of seeking help as soon as you realise you need it. Studies suggest that with appropriate treatment, most people do experience improvements in symptoms. In my case, it just went with time, and fortunately, my post-natal experience was unaffected.
What yoga practises can help in the first trimester or early pregnancy and what to avoid
Christmas stress with a baby? Find some tips for calm and zen from a baby yoga teacher and mum.
Matrescence is a transition – the transition into becoming a mother. The physical, psychological and emotional changes you go through after the birth of your child. A pretty big change in life eh? But it is rarely discussed or considered as much as birth or the practicalities of looking after a baby. Maybe we think about the “postnatal recovery” in a physical sense, but what about the new mother’s identity? Some things I read compare matrescence to adolescence, with the hormonal fluctuations, changes in body and identify. However the fact that spellcheck approves this and not “matrescence” is telling. Becoming a mother is a process that starts during pregnancy, when hormones are on a rollercoaster, and your body physically changes. We are bonding with our baby and getting used to this new role, but often the focus is on birth and practicalities of life. Perhaps we are thinking things will go “back to normal” when the baby arrives. However know that motherhood is a permanent change. Once we become a mother we are always a mother. Accepting that life is ever changing and embracing a “new normal” can help with adjusting. Along with rejecting the “bounce back” culture when it comes to the physical body or the things we used to do. Your amazing body has spent nine months growing a baby, and it will forever remember this. Even those people who look like they have “snapped back” into their old clothes, hobbies etc, will be changed as a person. This is both a wonderful and challenging time. Some of the words mums in my postnatal yoga classes have used to describe it: wonderful, scary amazing, pure, joyful, tiring, rewarding, special, transformative, natural, blissful, stressful, love, worry, strength, exhaustion. Notice the contrasts! Even if you are loving new motherhood it is important to give yourself time and space to adjust. Just like we give babies grace to adjust to the world with many cuddles, skin to skin, responding to their every need, so should be give ourselves that grace. A mother has been born too. The shift into a new role can take us by surprise, especially if we think that things were going to stay the same. The pace of life can slow down (babies feed and sleep on you a lot at the start!) new responsibility and roles. This can be a positive thing. Naomi Stadlen in “What Mothers Do” draws on the experiences of mothers over many years. She writes of women finding they suddenly enjoy the beauty of a gravel path. But this change of pace might take getting used to, and it can be frustrating. Things that used to take 2 minutes now take lots of planning and 20 minutes e.g. getting out of the house (I know!)! Having a support network of mum friends can help you to see that it’s not just you. When social roles change you might find that the friendships you had before shift, which can be isolating. At just the time when you are too exhausted to go out and meet new people! So, joining a local baby group can help you to find a new community. Whether through organised groups such as pre or postnatal yoga, local charity meet ups through Facebook or apps. WhatsApp groups were a lifesaver when my children were born, especially number 2 in lockdown. This community also helps when the changes are ongoing. Each new phase that babies go through requires another transition for parents. Take sleeping for example. Maybe you get used to them sleeping on you. Then one day they start sleeping on their own. You might feel wonderfully free whilst lost at the same time. Some of these changes happen gradually, others are more sudden. Starting nursery, preschool or school is a big adjustment, not just for the children but for their caregivers. (Personally one I have struggled with recently!) So what can we do to help ourselves? As a mum and yoga student and teacher, I must share with you the ways yoga can help in this time. Yoga can help in easing this transition as we recognise that everything is subject to change and flow. Not just the physical poses (asana). Learning some breathing techniques can help parents, babies and children to find, and keep, calm. There are many useful breathing techniques, a simple one I used was Inhale,2,3,4 and exhale,2,3,4 when feeding my baby. Telling the body to relax on the exhale helps to keep you calm and promotes good hormones no matter how you are feeding your baby. In yoga classes you might hear about “letting go” and with matrescene we must let go of the old normal and of old identities. Checking in with how we are is also helpful. Yoga teachers guide this in classes, but you can do it throughout the day for yourself. “The Supermum Myth” explores the different emotions new mothers may feel such as guilt, anxiety, anger and hate and encourage women to notice these feelings, as emotions have a purpose to communicate and motivate. The relaxation and mediation aspects of yoga maybe more spontaneous now and may need to fit around babies, but they are so are important. The body and mind need to rest, particularly when you are tired. If it is difficult to achieve adequate sleep, practising shavasana can be really beneficial to renew energy. Learning to keep in calm control is very helpful with little ones, so that we can respond calmly and compassionately. Summary of ideas to help: · Finding your own identify in motherhood, not trying to “bounce back” to the “old you” but finding yourself as you are now. · Accepting change as the new constant. · That might mean new or different interests, it might mean revisiting old ones. · Taking up a new hobby or challenge. e.g. running, yoga can help but not essential. · Learning breathing tools to keep calm · Check in with emotions and listen to what they have to say. · Practise relaxation and/or meditation · Talk to other mums. · Seek out support from those around you. Matrescence can be overwhelming but with awareness and realistic expectations it can be the best thing in your life. However, if you do find this change in life particularly stressful, that you have having intrusive thoughts and/or feel helpless, do ask for professional help. Through your GP, Health Visitor or charities such as the Samaritans. I am in now way linked to the authors of the books mentioned. Amber teaches Pregnancy Yoga, Baby and Postnatal Yoga in Norwich, Norfolk. See www.yogawithamber.co.uk for more information.
